So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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