What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
