is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
