Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
