drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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