Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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