He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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