And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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