This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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