i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
