Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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