Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
