its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
