Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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