I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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