I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
