Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize