I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
