Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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