john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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