Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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