I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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