i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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