HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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