i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
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