Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
