I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
