Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
