Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I love you. Go after that dick
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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