I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
