I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
What a dumb baby whore.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
