Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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