Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I need a beard to bite.
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