They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
