This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize