before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
high people should be assigned attendants
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
