Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i will never coherently bang her
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
