So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
