where am i from again
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
