New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize