he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
