and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
