Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
