just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
