put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize