I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
