Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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