I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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