No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
