yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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