No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just want to make out with him forever
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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