Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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