she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
