she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
