im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
