Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
