i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
