Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
