I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
