end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Will exercising make me less horny?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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