i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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