how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize