His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
should my penis look like a turkey
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
