PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Is it because I queefed?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
