And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
