people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize