Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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