he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
