I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
