Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
After last night, I could never be a politician.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
